They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so let's talk penis.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
