"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Boobs are out for the taking
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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