Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
