He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
