No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
