my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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