Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
