i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
its not stalking. its research.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
