How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
