I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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