Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
