Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
