he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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