Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
whose parrot is this?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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