My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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