I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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