five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
last night I used snow as a chaser
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