He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
