then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
