I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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