That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
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He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
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No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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