i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Screwed.edu
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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