I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
