i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
