how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Just high enough for therapy.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
