That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
