She's JV to your varsity
hell yes lets make some ravioli
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
