he wants to bone in the snuggie
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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