You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
