Grow some girl-balls and come out already
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Randomize
