How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
