I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
