I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
