Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
