Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize