im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
