Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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