Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
