Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
We got so high we made milksteak
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
