You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
