My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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