Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
