O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
