Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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