i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
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