They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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