my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
