I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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