do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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