i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
