My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Randomize
