Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
