why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
