When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
