So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
