So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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