i just wanna soil my oats bro
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
