This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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